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You have a pet mallard named
Darkwing.
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You can't get a duck, so you
name your cat Darkwing.
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For Halloween you dress up
as a character from the show.
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You join the police to be
a crime fighter like DW. Later you quit because you are outraged the
uniforms aren't even purple, you get a gun that shoots bullets instead
of gas, and there are no purple capes, masks, OR hats!!
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The cashier at the from every
gun store in a 10 mile span has banned you for continually asking
if the got their gas guns like Darkwing uses in store yet.
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While in chemistry class you
design your safety goggles to look just like Darkwing's mask.
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While dining at a fancy restaurant
you freak out and start screaming like an idiot after seeing "duck"
on the menu.
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When the electricity goes
out you insist that it must be Megavolt trying to take over your city.
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The light bulb in your room
burns out. You go to the closet to get another but there are none
there. You then call the police to explain Megavolt has broken into
your house and stole all you light bulbs and is probably out doing
the same to the other citizens.
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Your dream wedding dress looks
exactly like the one Morgana wore in the episode "Ghoul of My Dreams."
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You call up every karate school
near you, asking if they offer classes in Quack-Fu.
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In attempt to find Drake Mallard
you now own every phone book ever made and called every person named
Drake Mallard to ask if he is really Darkwing Duck.
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You want to become a villain,
so you draw the F.O.W.L. symbol on everything you own.
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Your computer is set up to
play a Darkwing Duck sound every time you do anything on your computer.
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While working as a news reporter
you ask if they have any extra 8x10 glossies of Darkwing they could
give you.
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You have been banned from
every bakery in town for jumping into all the cakes in a desperate
attempt to find the Negaverse.
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You sing the Darkwing Duck
theme song in the shower.
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Every night you need to listen
to the song "Little Girl Blue" in order to fall asleep.
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On weekends you begin to get
withdrawal symptoms.
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During a thunder storm you
put a hat with a plug on your head, wear a rubber jumpsuit and gloves
in hopes of getting amazing electrical powers like Megavolt.
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You get I [heart] Darkwing
tattooed on your body...
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...and it's somewhere that's
not usually visible.
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You almost get fired while
the boss came by as you were working on a new Darkwing Duck fanfic.
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The local ice skating rink
has banned you for using the double ricochet rocket trick you saw
Gosalyn use.
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You open a Hamburger Hippo
in your town.
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Your parents say, 'go get
a job' so you think, 'maybe I'll be a crime fighter... or a sidekick...'
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Darkwing Duck has become your
role model.
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Darkwing becomes the object
of all your daydreams.
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You make purple hats for all
the ducks at the park.
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Your boyfriend dumps you because
he's certain you're having an affair with someone named Drake.
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Every guy named Drake becomes
sexy to you.
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You've been watching too much
Darkwing Duck?!?! There's no such thing as TOO much Darkwing Duck!!!
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You printed out hundreds of
pages of just a background of DW to wallpaper your room with.
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You call the person you are
dating 'honey wumpus'.
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You carry around a duck backpack.
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You get personalized license
plates that read something like "DW DUCK" or "LPMCQUACK".
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One day you spot someone who
looks almost exactly like you and insist they must be your Nega-twin!
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You try to picture what married
life will be like with your fiance, But all you can imagine is how
great it would be to marry Launchpad instead.
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Even though you are a terrible
artist, you continue to draw fan art by thinking, "At least I'm better
than Splatter Phoenix."
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You become suspicious of any
bakery because Negaduck might be hiding a cake that leads to the Negaverse
in there.
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Everything you think about
seems to somehow connect with Darkwing Duck.
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You can't get up in the morning
without drinking a cup of really strong coffee.
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After watching the episode
'Twin Beaks' you swore never to eat cabbage or cow meat again.
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If you are girl, the Quiverwing
Quack becomes your idol.
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If you are a guy, you still
have Quiverwing Quack as an idol.
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You annoy your boyfriend to
wear a purple cape, so you can fantasize he's Darkwing.
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You keep going to the airport
and asking if Launchpad McQuack is flying, er, crashing any of the
planes today.
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Instead of making a snowMAN
you make a snowDUCK.
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You know who Tad Stones is.
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You plant a garden in hopes
of attracting Bushroot.
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After you finally work up
enough courage to ask a store clerk if they have any Darkwing Duck
merchandise, you get really steamed that she's never even heard of
it.
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Your excuse for not doing
your homework is "But Gosalyn doesn't do hers!"
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When you and your friends
get into fights you yell, "Don't worry, Darkwing Duck will save us!"
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You think that watching so
much Darkwing Duck might make you go insane. But you don't care...
YOU ALREADY ARE!
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You spend hours deciding if
DW came from an egg, or if he was born like a human.
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You write to McDonalds requesting
that Darkwing Duck action figures be in the next Happy Meals.
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You walk into a pet shop and
ask the shop keeper if they have any talking mutant super hero ducks.
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In your top dresser drawer
you have little boxer shorts with little tiny hearts on them.
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The day you first watched
Darkwing Duck has become the most important day of your entire life!
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You not only experience withdrawal
symptoms during the weekend, not only from day to day, but during
commercial breaks!
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You sing Little Girl Blue
to your daughter or son, and if you aren't a parent, you sing to your
DWD plushies... and you're in college.
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You have a crush on a character
from it! {{blush}}
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You actually cried in Dead
Duck when it looks like it's the end of Darkwing... the twentieth
time you saw it.
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You freak out in biology,
every time Mallards get mentioned, and instead of saying a Mallard
that's a drake, you say it's a Drake Mallard, insisting that Drake
should be capitalized.
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In history class, when asked
who discovered the moon or America, you immediately answer,"Darkwing!"
and when your teacher objects you insist, "But why would Darkwing
LIE?"
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You have doubles of everything
in your infinitely large (and still growing) collection of anything
DWD'ish you can lay your hands on, insisting that you need one opened
and one in mint condition!
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You have a shrine to one of
the characters in your room, and you show it off to everyone you know.
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You can start a conversation
on DWD from any subject whatsoever.
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You're really kicking yourself
for not thinking of this page first, because you just *know* you're
the biggest DWD fan, no matter how big of a fan anyone else thinks
they are.
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Someday you want to get on
Jeopardy and win a gajillion dollars for knowing the most useless
DWD info.
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You're thinking, "USELESS?!
HAH! This is important stuff!"
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You name your sons Tank and
Honker in the hopes that DW will move in next door.
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You think the Scarlet Pimpernel
ripped off DARKWING DUCK'S costume idea.
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You consider programming a
Darkwing Duck fighting game.
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You believe the Bible foretold
that Darkwing Duck would beat Satan in hand-to-hand combat.
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You ACTUALLY SPEAK Bigfoot.
(Humina humina humina...)
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You spend hours trying to
figure out the entire Darkwing Duck origin story, and finally understand
it! (Even the part about how he went back in time to visit himself
when he was a little kid, then didn't remember it, AND the part about
the dinosaur motorcycle race.)
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You wrote Darkwing HUGE fan
letter for his birthday. (Sept. 7)
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Whenever you beat up someone
you wonder why the mass media isn't there to cover it.
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You carry signed 6 by 10 glossies
of yourself.
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You start running around after
dark in a rubber jumpsuit and gloves, with a sparkplug on your head,
rescuing helpless light bulbs.
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All it takes is a 9-year old
girl with red pigtails to leave you cowering up in the nearest tree.
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You get hysterical and refuse
to get in a plane if the pilot looks anything like Lauchpad.
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You wear a cape and claim
it's GREAT fashion sense.
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Whenever a top spins, you
wonder where exactly in time its going.
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You wonder what the characters
are during between reruns.
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Your school tests and notes
all have Darkwing's doodled face over them.
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You dare your friends to say
any word, and you link that word to Darkwing.
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You multiply recorded "Little
Girl Blue" so you could listen to it continuously without rewinding
it. Not only that, but you also recorded it over and over on your
computer.
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You write analytical essays
about the meaning of the character's facial expressions.
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You refuse to buy bottled
water for fear the Liquidator will pop out
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Passing a graveyard, you swear
you see Morgana and Darkwing eating dinner
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Whenever you go into chat
rooms, you are always 'Camille' or 'Moliarty'
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You get fined by the local
fire brigade for detonating smoke bombs every time you "mysteriously"
enter a room, and setting off all the sprinklers
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Every time you see a mallard
duck in the wild you say, "Oh look it's Drake Mallard!"
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You tie a blanket around your
neck and during certain points in the theme song you jump off the
couch.
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You call your father Herb.
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You beg your mother to eat
a HUGE box of Frosted Flakes so you can send for the Darkwing toy
pictured on the box.
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Whenever you say, "I've got
an idea," your family and friends will respond, "What about Darkwing
now?"