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YKYWTMDWDW Page 1

(You Know You Watch Too Much Darkwing Duck When...)

  1. You have a pet mallard named Darkwing.
  2. You can't get a duck, so you name your cat Darkwing.
  3. For Halloween you dress up as a character from the show.
  4. You join the police to be a crime fighter like DW. Later you quit because you are outraged the uniforms aren't even purple, you get a gun that shoots bullets instead of gas, and there are no purple capes, masks, OR hats!!
  5. The cashier at the from every gun store in a 10 mile span has banned you for continually asking if the got their gas guns like Darkwing uses in store yet.
  6. While in chemistry class you design your safety goggles to look just like Darkwing's mask.
  7. While dining at a fancy restaurant you freak out and start screaming like an idiot after seeing "duck" on the menu.
  8. When the electricity goes out you insist that it must be Megavolt trying to take over your city.
  9. The light bulb in your room burns out. You go to the closet to get another but there are none there. You then call the police to explain Megavolt has broken into your house and stole all you light bulbs and is probably out doing the same to the other citizens.
  10. Your dream wedding dress looks exactly like the one Morgana wore in the episode "Ghoul of My Dreams."
  11. You call up every karate school near you, asking if they offer classes in Quack-Fu.
  12. In attempt to find Drake Mallard you now own every phone book ever made and called every person named Drake Mallard to ask if he is really Darkwing Duck.
  13. You want to become a villain, so you draw the F.O.W.L. symbol on everything you own.
  14. Your computer is set up to play a Darkwing Duck sound every time you do anything on your computer.
  15. While working as a news reporter you ask if they have any extra 8x10 glossies of Darkwing they could give you.
  16. You have been banned from every bakery in town for jumping into all the cakes in a desperate attempt to find the Negaverse.
  17. You sing the Darkwing Duck theme song in the shower.
  18. Every night you need to listen to the song "Little Girl Blue" in order to fall asleep.
  19. On weekends you begin to get withdrawal symptoms.
  20. During a thunder storm you put a hat with a plug on your head, wear a rubber jumpsuit and gloves in hopes of getting amazing electrical powers like Megavolt.
  21. You get I [heart] Darkwing tattooed on your body...
  22. ...and it's somewhere that's not usually visible.
  23. You almost get fired while the boss came by as you were working on a new Darkwing Duck fanfic.
  24. The local ice skating rink has banned you for using the double ricochet rocket trick you saw Gosalyn use.
  25. You open a Hamburger Hippo in your town.
  26. Your parents say, 'go get a job' so you think, 'maybe I'll be a crime fighter... or a sidekick...'
  27. You join The DAFT mailing list just to get Darkwing Duck stuff.
  28. Darkwing Duck has become your role model.
  29. Darkwing becomes the object of all your daydreams.
  30. You make purple hats for all the ducks at the park.
  31. Your boyfriend dumps you because he's certain you're having an affair with someone named Drake.
  32. Every guy named Drake becomes sexy to you.
  33. You've been watching too much Darkwing Duck?!?! There's no such thing as TOO much Darkwing Duck!!!
  34. You printed out hundreds of pages of just a background of DW to wallpaper your room with.
  35. You call the person you are dating 'honey wumpus'.
  36. You carry around a duck backpack.
  37. You get personalized license plates that read something like "DW DUCK" or "LPMCQUACK".
  38. One day you spot someone who looks almost exactly like you and insist they must be your Nega-twin!
  39. You try to picture what married life will be like with your fiance, But all you can imagine is how great it would be to marry Launchpad instead.
  40. Even though you are a terrible artist, you continue to draw fan art by thinking, "At least I'm better than Splatter Phoenix."
  41. You become suspicious of any bakery because Negaduck might be hiding a cake that leads to the Negaverse in there.
  42. Everything you think about seems to somehow connect with Darkwing Duck.
  43. You can't get up in the morning without drinking a cup of really strong coffee.
  44. After watching the episode 'Twin Beaks' you swore never to eat cabbage or cow meat again.
  45. If you are girl, the Quiverwing Quack becomes your idol.
  46. If you are a guy, you still have Quiverwing Quack as an idol.
  47. You annoy your boyfriend to wear a purple cape, so you can fantasize he's Darkwing.
  48. You keep going to the airport and asking if Launchpad McQuack is flying, er, crashing any of the planes today.
  49. Instead of making a snowMAN you make a snowDUCK.
  50. You know who Tad Stones is.
  51. You plant a garden in hopes of attracting Bushroot.
  52. After you finally work up enough courage to ask a store clerk if they have any Darkwing Duck merchandise, you get really steamed that she's never even heard of it.
  53. Your excuse for not doing your homework is "But Gosalyn doesn't do hers!"
  54. When you and your friends get into fights you yell, "Don't worry, Darkwing Duck will save us!"
  55. You think that watching so much Darkwing Duck might make you go insane. But you don't care... YOU ALREADY ARE!
  56. You spend hours deciding if DW came from an egg, or if he was born like a human.
  57. You write to McDonalds requesting that Darkwing Duck action figures be in the next Happy Meals.
  58. You walk into a pet shop and ask the shop keeper if they have any talking mutant super hero ducks.
  59. In your top dresser drawer you have little boxer shorts with little tiny hearts on them.
  60. The day you first watched Darkwing Duck has become the most important day of your entire life!
  61. You not only experience withdrawal symptoms during the weekend, not only from day to day, but during commercial breaks!
  62. You sing Little Girl Blue to your daughter or son, and if you aren't a parent, you sing to your DWD plushies... and you're in college.
  63. You have a crush on a character from it! {{blush}}
  64. You actually cried in Dead Duck when it looks like it's the end of Darkwing... the twentieth time you saw it.
  65. You freak out in biology, every time Mallards get mentioned, and instead of saying a Mallard that's a drake, you say it's a Drake Mallard, insisting that Drake should be capitalized.
  66. In history class, when asked who discovered the moon or America, you immediately answer,"Darkwing!" and when your teacher objects you insist, "But why would Darkwing LIE?"
  67. You have doubles of everything in your infinitely large (and still growing) collection of anything DWD'ish you can lay your hands on, insisting that you need one opened and one in mint condition!
  68. You have a shrine to one of the characters in your room, and you show it off to everyone you know.
  69. You can start a conversation on DWD from any subject whatsoever.
  70. You're really kicking yourself for not thinking of this page first, because you just *know* you're the biggest DWD fan, no matter how big of a fan anyone else thinks they are.
  71. Someday you want to get on Jeopardy and win a gajillion dollars for knowing the most useless DWD info.
  72. You're thinking, "USELESS?! HAH! This is important stuff!"
  73. You name your sons Tank and Honker in the hopes that DW will move in next door.
  74. You think the Scarlet Pimpernel ripped off DARKWING DUCK'S costume idea.
  75. You consider programming a Darkwing Duck fighting game.
  76. You believe the Bible foretold that Darkwing Duck would beat Satan in hand-to-hand combat.
  77. You ACTUALLY SPEAK Bigfoot. (Humina humina humina...)
  78. You spend hours trying to figure out the entire Darkwing Duck origin story, and finally understand it! (Even the part about how he went back in time to visit himself when he was a little kid, then didn't remember it, AND the part about the dinosaur motorcycle race.)
  79. You wrote Darkwing HUGE fan letter for his birthday. (Sept. 7)
  80. Whenever you beat up someone you wonder why the mass media isn't there to cover it.
  81. You carry signed 6 by 10 glossies of yourself.
  82. You start running around after dark in a rubber jumpsuit and gloves, with a sparkplug on your head, rescuing helpless light bulbs.
  83. All it takes is a 9-year old girl with red pigtails to leave you cowering up in the nearest tree.
  84. You get hysterical and refuse to get in a plane if the pilot looks anything like Lauchpad.
  85. You wear a cape and claim it's GREAT fashion sense.
  86. Whenever a top spins, you wonder where exactly in time its going.
  87. You wonder what the characters are during between reruns.
  88. Your school tests and notes all have Darkwing's doodled face over them.
  89. You dare your friends to say any word, and you link that word to Darkwing.
  90. You multiply recorded "Little Girl Blue" so you could listen to it continuously without rewinding it. Not only that, but you also recorded it over and over on your computer.
  91. You write analytical essays about the meaning of the character's facial expressions.
  92. You refuse to buy bottled water for fear the Liquidator will pop out
  93. Passing a graveyard, you swear you see Morgana and Darkwing eating dinner
  94. Whenever you go into chat rooms, you are always 'Camille' or 'Moliarty'
  95. You get fined by the local fire brigade for detonating smoke bombs every time you "mysteriously" enter a room, and setting off all the sprinklers
  96. Every time you see a mallard duck in the wild you say, "Oh look it's Drake Mallard!"
  97. You tie a blanket around your neck and during certain points in the theme song you jump off the couch.
  98. You call your father Herb.
  99. You beg your mother to eat a HUGE box of Frosted Flakes so you can send for the Darkwing toy pictured on the box.
  100. Whenever you say, "I've got an idea," your family and friends will respond, "What about Darkwing now?"


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