A Mystie Story

Once upon a time there was a girl named Mystie.  Mystie was a very fun loving girl, and she enjoyed a great variety of interests.  One of her favorite interests was watching the cartoon Darkwing Duck.  She loved it so much, that Mystie began to write her own episodes of the show, even though she possessed very little writing talent.  So on and on into the night she wrote stories about Darkwing Duck and his misadventures.  The only one that really enjoyed her stories, was her dear friend, Lavender.  Lavender loved Mystie's wit, so she would sometimes write stories with Mystie because Lavender actually knew some good stuff about writing stories.  So together they wrote on and on into the night about Darkwing Duck and all their other obsessions they enjoyed.

Drunk on Mountain Dew and on the biggest sugar high of their lives, the two shared a few sheets of paper and began to construct what they though to be the ultimate Darkwing Duck fan fiction.  It took weeks to be done, but they thought it was worth it.  They were so proud of themselves, that when they were done they personally sent the story to the Disney company, care of Darkwing Duck.  Even though they would never admit to it, Lavender and Mystie had a feeling deep inside them that Darkwing wasn't real.  

The next week, far off St. Canard, Darkwing Duck was delivered fan mail from his show.  It was a large sack of mail, but sadly most of the letters were for Launchpad and the others from sick, sick fanboys.  Darkwing's eyes caught sight of a brown paper envelope with cute drawings all over it.  He picked it up, and tore open the package happily.  He read the contents of the package very carefully, and before you knew it, he was on a plane to visit Lavender and Mystie.

Lavender and Mystie were having a picnic and attempting to sing The Teddy Bear Picnic, even though they didn't know all the words.  Mystie's long blonde hair glistened in the sunlight, but her hair could never be as bright as the smile on Lavender's face as she talked about Darkwing.  They were having a wonderful time just being together, when their happy party was interrupted.  Darkwing Duck himself was standing right behind them.

Darkwing could tell it was them, because they wore t-shirts with pictures of him on it and their names on the back with a Skitzo Studio logo.  Ecstatic, the girls began to hop up and down, and then proceeded to poke at Darkwing to make sure he was real.  They asked him why he came to visit them.  Did he enjoy their story?  Was he going to ask Disney to publish it for them?  This was just too good to be true!

But then Darkwing did something completely out of character.  Something that scared Mystie and Lavie just a little.  He got down on his knees and begged.  He begged for them to stop the insanity.  He didn't want them to ever write another story ever again.  He couldn't take it anymore.  The websites and the poor fanart he could deal with, but such terrible fan fiction was a completely different story.  Darkwing himself  couldn't even take it.  But Mystie just couldn't live without writing her stories, she loved them too much.  She knew that Lavender could write fine on her own, but when the two of them combined their creative effort, it was really surprising the weren't writing something from a drug-induced hallucination.

It was too much to bear.  So Mystie devised a plan so that she could keep writing.  Of course, it's Mystie, so it wasn't really a GOOD plan.  It was simply just a plan.  Lavender wouldn't be the part of such a malicious ploy, so Mystie was forced to ask for help from Lavender's younger sibling, Sassy Skunk.  She found Sassy downstairs in the cat cave using the computer for her own sick bidding.  Sassy was eager to help Mystie with her plan, because, hey, what else better did she have to do?

So Sassy and Mystie took the interdimensional train to St. Canard.  Once there, they snuck into Darkwing's house assuming it would be empty for the night while he was out fighting crime.  To their surprise, once they got in they found Beth Webfoot sleeping on the couch during her babysitting hours.  Mystie and Sassy fought their urges to do something troublesome, but they didn't feel right corrupting Beth.  After all, Sassy was into some pretty messed up stuff.  So they just went upstairs and proceeded with their plan to capture Gosalyn.

Mystie tied her up with just regular rope, not that kinky kind that Sassy was into.  Once Mystie was done she called for Sassy.  Sassy emerged from Darkwing's bedroom wearing his underpants on her head.  Sassy was always a big fashion trend setter.  Mystie and Sassy took the interdimensional train back to Lavender's house.  Lavender was so entranced watching TV, she didn't even notice they were gone.  

When Darkwing came home, he found the ransom note left for him.  He went to Lavender's house to try and reason with them and get Gosalyn back AND get them to stop writing such bad ransom notes.  Mystie was happy when Darkwing finally came to get his daughter.  Gosalyn just wasn't hyper enough, and couldn't keep up with the rest of them.  Negotiations finally were settled.  In return for his daughter, Darkwing would have to pay a certain price.  To be exact, he would have to pay for Mystie to go to writing classes so she'd actually know what she was doing when she sat down to put something into words.  So Mystie wrote better fan fiction and everyone else was finally happy... well... almost everyone...